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Joke of the Day

"*son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink"

"My wife and I weren't really expecting a baby, and then BAM!... One smacks right into the windshield."

"A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a library.... The librarian stops them. ""What, do you think this is a BAR?"""

"People say I'm a people person It's like a dog person, but with a lot more chains in my basement."

"What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars"

"I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese."

"[Request] Girls names and bike parts puns I can only think of IsaBELL anyone have any good ones? (Sorry if requests aren't allowed in this subreddit just delete if necessary!)"

"Why did Mary Magdalen love Jesus? *Spreads arms* Because he was hung like this"

"2 wrongs don't make a right... But 2 Wrights make a plane"

"What is easy to register for, but something you never want? Sex offender."