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Joke of the Day
"It's such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV."
Next Joke
"Needed some help with romance, so I took the book ""How to Hug"" out of the library. Turns out it was volume 6 of an old encyclopedia."
"I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*"
"*surgeon opens cooler during transplant* *cooler is full of Gatorade* ""Wait but this means..."" *cut to surgeon's kids dumping kidney on coach*"
"""I don't think Gay Guys should be able to get abortions"" -Me when someone asks me a question that I don't know the answer to."
"A Diamond Comes home to his Coal wife and Coal Child He says ""I've been under a lot of pressure lately (Edit: Just realized this was on the front page gaddamit)"
"*cooks french fries on your greasy hair*"
"George Carlin: Dead. Leslie Nielsen: Dead. Mitch Hedberg: Dead. Greg Giraldo: Dead. Dane Cook: A-Okay. God has some explaining to do."
"A Native American man walks into a hotel in Las Vegas. The receptionist asks, ""Do you have a reservation?"""
"Jesus said to Peter, ""Come forth and I will give you eternal glory."" Peter came fifth and won a toaster."