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Joke of the Day

"Dog training The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat."

"Did you guys hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing? He writes scary stories."

"I'm a little surprised team USA can't find a goalie fat enough to block the entire net."

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."

"I don't hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch."

"ME: *eating shepherd's pie* this is really yummy SHEPHERD: hey, that's my pie"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, ""hey, you! Get off my cloud!"", and the other one says, ""hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""

"Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's? He heard boys' pants were half off."

"Hitler was bad. He is going to Heil. get it? heil?"