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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison."

"Did you hear the joke about the Dutch speaking farmer? Nevermind. It doesn't transplant well."

"What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt."

"How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen? Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up...."

"what never gets old? a miscarriage."

"A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum. He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off. Headline in the local newspaper next day read, ""Nut Screws Washer and Bolts""."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his cock out of the chicken."

"Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three a policeman the owner of the watch and me!!"

"We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were ""Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"""