215388

Joke of the Day

"I bought my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I know it's not the best gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"Don't Invite Satan Over To Play Board Games... ...because last time I did it, he took the dice we used to play Monopoly. Now I have a pair of dice lost."

"Why did the dog go to the hospital? He was feeling ruff."

"I bought a pair of sneakers from my drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with because I have been tripping all week."

"[restaurant] ME: Bottle of shiraz pls. It's my birthday WAITER: Your birthday? It's on the house ME: [looking up] Do you have a ladder or"

"Why are all the best Jazz musicians brown? Because they're great at scatting."

"Q: What's delaying the Polish space program? A: Development of a working match."

"How do you circumsize a blue whale? Four skindivers"

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"

"I once met a man from Nantucket... ...He didn't understand limericks, either."