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Joke of the Day

"10 things you didn't know you could do with a selfie stick. 1. *Use selfie stick to stuff rags in your exhaust pipe* 2.*Use selfie stick to beat ppl who have selfie sticks* 3"

"My local bar had an amateur magic night, a gay magician sat on a bar stool and made it disappear. Thank you, I'll walk myself out."

"I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving"

"I accidentally gave my wife super glue instead of Chapstick She's still not talking to me."

"You've just got to see the fan exhibition It blew me away"

"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The head nurse."

"So, today I found out that Starbucks coffee is an 8 on the ph scale I guess that you could say all of those white girls are basic."

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"I love the metric system. It's the best by an absolute 1.6km"

"What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches? On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch."