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Joke of the Day

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"Two hipsters walked into a bar. One did it before it was cool and the second did it ironically."

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"How do you know if a wizards gay? It disappears with a poof."

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"""

"I have submitted 10 jokes now trying to reach the front page... no pun in ten did."

"If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom I guess it's finally time to shave my legs for spring *Walks away with hedge trimmers"

"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."

"Her: Are you even capable of love? Me: I'm pretty sure I love pancakes."

"What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding? The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding."