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Joke of the Day
"Best excuse for missing work The voices told me to clean the guns."
Next Joke
"Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? ... he worked it out with a pencil."
"Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*"
"What do you call a septic cat? pussy."
"*Vladimir Putin dining* I want Russian fries ""They're French fries"" Not for long *crosses Ukraine out on agenda & lists France* Not for long"
"Dudes that flip off the camera in pictures want you to know that they're tough and strong and not afraid of any fucking camera."
"I wish lap dance minutes felt like treadmill minutes."
"Am I the only one who gets nervous when a person @'s you with a link? Like they found that pic of you at 18 being spanked in a tutu."
"Typed in ""My Penis"" for a password Said it was ""too long."""
"Guinness book of world records I use to have my dick in the Guinness book of world records, but then the librarian told me I had to leave."