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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? At least the pimple waits until you are 14 before it cums on your face."

"The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight."

"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."

"Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work? He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea."

"Him: I think you pick fights with me to get out of doing things together Me: That's not true H: Wanna go hiking M: I don't like your tone"

"""DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!"" -adolescent Thor"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me, and I thought ""Well that was a little condescending."""

"What do you get when you cross a zebra with a flamingo? Some weeeeeeeird shit, man."

"THE BAD BELT Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide. Which makes me want to twoot myself in the face."