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Joke of the Day

"Am I the only one who gets nervous when a person @'s you with a link? Like they found that pic of you at 18 being spanked in a tutu."

"Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball."

"My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny."

"a self-checkout line with 0 mirrors what a joke"

"I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain the snake died"

"What's the difference between a politician and a tiger? One of them is a big puss"

"Knock, knock Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No you're a poo!"

"What do you call Russian trees? Dimitrees"

"What did the Zune say to the iPod? You da real MP3."

"I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon."