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Joke of the Day

"A German lands in Paris... Upon having his passport verified, the French officer asks him: -Occupation? -Oh, no no, just visiting!"

"What Did The Time Traveler Do After He After He Ate Too Much? He Went Back Four Seconds."

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"

"What should we call people who leave crusty bits of food in the corner of their mouths? #Herpeaters."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is good but it has no atmosphere."

"How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!"

"I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?"

"*first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?"

"3 men walk into a bar, bartender say... How'd you get in here"

"I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now."