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Joke of the Day

"*first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?"

"I like my woman how I like my burritos Wet"

"What is the difference between a dead hooker and spare tire? I only have one spare tire in my trunk!"

"I wonder if my potential boyfriend is hiding at the bottom of this ice cream tub."

"A paraplegic went down a runway... She made for a great roll-model."

"the hottest girl u can think of has had diarrhea. kinda puts everything into perspective."

"I'm so happy I'm not as cool as you. Because then I'd be a huge fucking asshole."

"Waiter: I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway."

"Did you hear about the kindergartener with a bad knee? He needed a kid knee transplant."

"Trump has just been debriefed about the aliens in area 51 he wants them deported immediately"