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Joke of the Day

"What Did The Time Traveler Do After He After He Ate Too Much? He Went Back Four Seconds."

"Sometimes I'm tempted to run into a Gym and tell men which machine they should be using to impress women. It's called an ATM."

"People often ask me if weed hurts memory I'd tell them but i don't remember."

"Why do you like little kids...? They have to use TWO hands."

"Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains."

"Yeah, I'm basically a Pokemaster. *waves vaguely at shelves of confused squirrels in partially sealed Tupperware containers*"

"*finally detangles ear buds *plane lands"

"Have you heard that Eskimos eat whale meat and blubber? Well, you'd blubber too if you had to eat whale meat."

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."

"Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I'm really disappointed with Bill Gates."