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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who commits piracy? Neckbeard the pirate"

"What do you call a sad cancer patient? Chemo-sobby (kemosabe)"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not going to fall for that one again."

"My credit card number is 4339-8245... Wait. Is this Amazon?"

"If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed."

"I went for a job at NASA yesterday. Everything was going well until they asked me what my ambitions were. I replied, ""The sky's the limit!"" and they told me to fuck off!"

"A man walks into a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.... It's a shitzu."

"Heard about the fruit that became a president? He got impeached."

"How can you tell if a woman's had an orgasm? Who cares?"

"I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now."