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Joke of the Day

"I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help."

Next Joke
 
"Why can't Trump be compared to vegetables in jokes? Because even artichokes have a heart."
"Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed."
"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"
"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."
"How come the leader of the USSR from the 1920's to 1951 never got anything done? ...because he was always Stalin."
"Funny one liners - 2016 Tell me short funny one liners. Just humor, nothing else."
"[Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets."
"Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns."
"You have a donkey and I have a rooster. Your donkey eats my roosters legs. What do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."