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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Trump be compared to vegetables in jokes? Because even artichokes have a heart."
Next Joke
"""Hey girl wanna go out Saturday night?"" No thanks I have a previous engagement ""I'm cool with that, hell I've been married like 6 times"""
"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"
"2 Mexicans escape from prison. ""Jesus, take the wheel!"""
"I normally don't drink, but last time I did I woke up next to my grandmother I still don't know how I got 6 feet under ground."
"A redhead tells her blonde step sister that she had sex with a Brazilian. The blonde says, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"""
"How is food purchased an an Irish grocery? You buy it per-tater"
"I like how my autocorrect changes ""hun"" to ""Hun,"" like I'm playfully referring to my girlfriends as barbarous 4th-century European nomads."
"How do you get someone to pay child support? Blackmail."
"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I think Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."