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Joke of the Day

"""...until death do us part."" *looks at minister* ""What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie? Then I can bang other chicks?"""

"I told Siri to use Bing instead of Google.. We both laughed."

"Whenever someone asks if I'm a robot I tell them no I'm androidgynous."

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"Where does Santa go for a sexy carwash? One whore soap-and-sleigh!"

"""DOC TELL ME STRAIGHT"" doc: u got lou gherrigs disease *cops barge in* ur under arrest ""FOR WHAT"" cop: mr gherrig reported a missing disease"

"What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree can kill you? A pool table."

"Why couldn't the Pokemon tell a joke? Because he fainted."

"Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds."

"Did you hear about the obscenely hard gardening class required for botany majors? It was said to be a weed out class"