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Joke of the Day

"I get ignored so much that people call me terms and conditions"

"TIL there was a dinosaur that had three butts. It was from the Triassic period."

"What do Saiyans and Kelly Clarkson have in common? (x-post r/funny) What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."

"My wife was struggling to open the freezer In the end she gave up, and froze to death."

"""It's a bird!"" ""It's a plane!""... What the hell were those two so excited about?"

"I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock."

"So a work colleague told me that Prince died and they found his body in a lift. Well, he was obviously coming down with something."

"What do an optimist and a paraplegic have in common? They're not carried by *defeat*"

"I'd be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better."

"Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts"