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Joke of the Day

"""Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!"" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)"

"Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb."

"How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde."

"Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers."

"Hot chick without makeup: her beauty is so effortless & carefree Me without makeup: why is that very sick grandma not in a home"

"There's a couple flies in my room... I'm trying to sleep and they're bugging me."

"Why was the sacajawea coin made? because the Trail Of Tears had a toll booth."

"Whats the antonym of Manchester United? WomanBreastsR Divided"

"Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!"

"Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me."