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Joke of the Day
"Me: I heard Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. Friend: OMg!"
Next Joke
"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"
"What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled. ( )"
"Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations."
"Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas."
"""You should leave your wife..."" The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning..."
"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."
"[at funeral] Me: ""I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice"" Widow: ""please no.... Me: ""you have my gondolances"""
"I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids."
"What is the only olympic sport that mexicans can compete in? Bordercross"