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Joke of the Day

"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"

"If you have 12 enchiladas.... Is it a foot-alada?"

"i got locked in the PBR factory over the weekend... i did what i had to do to survive and drank my own piss"

"I drank a pint of beer in Saudi Arabia the other day... ... It cost me an arm and a leg."

"Two bananas are relaxing on a river bank... When a turd floats by. The turd shouts over. ""Come on in the waters great."" One banana turns to the other and says. ""Do you believe this shit."""

"How do you think the unthinkable? Run your thip into an ithberg"

"Coworker: Are those Chinos? Me: No. These are my pants. Coworker... Me: Who steals pants?"

"I was going to tell a straight joke... Vagina fuck it"

"What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch? Matt."

"Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy."