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Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual."

"I knew this girl, she's really deep; she'd always find a reason to preach about how size does matter..."

"What does a Jewish man attacking Pearl Harbour say? Torah! Torah! Torah!"

"I was going to make a Gay joke Butt fuck it."

"If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite."

"""You've got a friend in me."" - Cannibals, probably"

"Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk? He was lack toes and toddler ant"

"This morning I saw an ad offering 'help' to people contemplating suicide Which confused me, because the industry has banned ads for cigarettes, but apparently they have no qualms with murder."

"Why are pornstars so religious? They keep yelling 'oh God yes!' all the time."

"I heard they came out with the new black transformer... His name is Optimus *Crime*"