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Joke of the Day

"My kid just said his dinner tasted like cat litter. Not sure if I should be offended or wonder how he knows what cat litter tastes like."

"Why did the artist go to the bakery? For shortening!"

"My friend drove into a tree earlier... I wonder if he's oaky"

"Went to a great Russian restaurant last night. For dessert, we ordered Chocolate Putin"

"I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari It's a Trans Am"

"Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station! Authorities have nothing to go on."

"I want to believe Pistorius...... ... But it's pretty clear his argument doesn't have a leg to stand on"

"School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't."

"STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?"

"Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them."