141007
Joke of the Day
"Why did the artist go to the bakery? For shortening!"
Next Joke
"Whats brown and rhymes with ""snoop""? Dr. Dre"
"*gingerly maneuvers the garbage can back into place between a stack of crown molding we'll never use and your antique pesticide collection*"
"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""
"A man came into the emergency room with six plastic toy horses in his ass... The doctors say his condition is stable."
"95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics."
"What lottery did the broom win? The sweepstakes."
"Sometimes things are not what they appear. Just because I am sitting with an open book doesn't mean that I am studying."
"My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession She said ""I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a transformer"". I said ""But baby, I can change"". She said ""There you go again!"""
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"