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Joke of the Day

"I just want to thank you for explaining that Geico ad to me. It means a great deal."

"What did the really ugly man do for a living? He posed for Halloween masks."

"So what if I used a time machine to kill Hitler but arrived too late? And now he's alive and knows how to time travel? Would you guys be mad"

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? Nevermind. It's too cheesy."

"What disease do basement dweller mosquitos give you? M'laria"

"When a couple breaks up never believe her story Why? Because only history is reliable."

"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Don't know they're just a bit shady."

"So doctor how much time do I have left? 10... 10 what? 9, 8...."

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just sit around and compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"Strip search? ... OK, but I'm going to need some background music."