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Joke of the Day

"I think my wife considers me her rainbow. Or at least, according to her, I'm on the spectrum."

"How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs"

"I lost my Nana today must have fallen out of my lunchbox"

"""You can have sex with my sister over my dead body"" ""Umm, I appreciate the weird offer, but I'm just gonna do it in my car"""

"Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it's up to you."

"What's the difference between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? One's pretty quick, the other's a quitty prick."

"Which reindeer have the shortest legs? The smallest ones."

"I found out I'm a necrophiliac. How, you ask? I walked into an autopsy. It was stiff."

"The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes."

"*Likes your fan page* *Hides activity from timeline*"