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Joke of the Day

"Waiting for a mannequin with a gut so I can really see how that shirt will look on me."

"If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore"

"I'm struggling to think of a name for this new app that compares acid and mushrooms. Sadly ""Tripadvisor"" is taken"

"Let me tell you the funniest joke I know... Hold on for update, I'm on mobile. edit: forgot the joke"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fuckin' dick!"

"Did you hear about the rabbi performing circumcisions for free? ...he just kept the tips."

"Why did Skrillex lose his job at Long John Silvers? He was always dropping the bass."

"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"

"17 blondes decide to go to cinema... But when they arrive they don't enter the cinema because it says you have to be 18 to get in."

"Keep your coworkers on their feet by beginning your next e-mail with ""If you're reading this, I'm already dead."""