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Joke of the Day
"*knock knock* whos there? sir theres been an accident. theres been an accident who?"
Next Joke
"What is the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker & a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic oyster-shucker SHUCKS between FITS."
"Farted on the bus, 4 people turned around, felt like i'm on ""The Voice"""
"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You don't know man, you weren't there!"
"I got a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.... My girlfriend asked why I did it, and I told her 'well you're always asking for money to blow...'"
"Almost had a threesome last night.... Just needed two more people (Sure its been done before but I couldn't resist)"
"You had me at: I'm calling the police."
"This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep."
"[Serious] Can we stop making bomb jokes? Edit: Wow, this really blew up! Edit 2: Feeling bombastic! Thanks for the gold!"
"What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style? Schrodinger's cut"