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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores."

"I made on offensive joke about Muslims... and boom, I lost my job."

"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite sex position? On camera. Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*."

"Reddit is too too mean to fat people. You guys really need to lay off. They already have enough on their plates."

"saying ""we won"" after watching a sports game is like saying ""we played really well"" after watching a concert"

"Bring in 2015 the same way you came into this world. Naked and screaming."

"I bought new sunglasses that blend well with the color of my hair so I won't feel so stupid the next time I lose them on the top of my head"

"My 5th grader is one eye roll away from being listed on eBay this morning."

"What do you do if an Elephant comes through your window? Swim for your life!"

"*joaquin phoenix croses a street adn almost gets hit by a taxi* *mumbles to himsef* cmon man whyd he try to do that. i mean, im joaquin here"