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Joke of the Day
"Last night I slept for 6 hours straight then 1 hour gay."
Next Joke
"Do I agree that education is getting too expensive? To a degree, yes."
"How many dead baby's does it take to paint a wall? _"
"The woman seated next to me wanted to know if San Francisco is near the water. I replied, ""What's water?"" so she wouldn't feel stupid."
"Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze"
"My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park I tried so hard."
"How do you get an art major off your porch? Pay for the pizza"
"Is the end of the world happening right now? The internet is not working on my phone, so that was my first logical conclusion."
"Why did the man shut his donut shop? Why did the man close his donut shop? ...because he was fed up with the hole business!"
"[sex in car] ME: Remember when you could do this without fear of strangers watching? BF: Yes UBER DRIVER: Would you like a water?"