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Joke of the Day

"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job... I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work."

"If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month."

"Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. ."

"In this economy I sometimes have to make tough choices. Like between eating or buy that cover for my iPad."

"What script did the man with the longest penis get tattooed on his dick? TL;DR."

"What do lesbian couples do once a month? Finger paint."

"Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number."

"Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts."

"All these Fifty Shades of Grey jokes... Guys, stop, they're whore-ible."

"Mayweather was boring tonight... If only they'd have thrown a woman in the ring, we could have seen him fight."