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Joke of the Day

"Is the end of the world happening right now? The internet is not working on my phone, so that was my first logical conclusion."

"*climbs Mt. Everest hoping to find clarity, PEACE & a deeper understanding of myself & the world* ""When did they put a Starbucks up here?"""

"Yo momma is so fat......... Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."""

"So I met a vegan. I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking."

"I love standing up.. ..but I can't stand sitting down!"

"I tried Haggis for the first time today... It tasted offal!"

"Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"Some people say they get runner's high... I just get runner's OH GOD MY CHEST IS COLLAPSING I FEEL LIKE DEATH"

"Did you hear about the terrorist who was sent to blow up a car? Well, he burned his lips on the exhaust pipe."

"Her eyes were the color of paint"