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Joke of the Day

"What to you call a cow with no legs... Ground beef"

"You know there are some trained minds that can tell a lot about a person just by looking at them. I like to call said minds 'Presumptious, judgemental Assholes.'"

"What do you call it when a pickle makes a mistake? A dill d'oh"

"""Do you need a ride?"" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car"

"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."

"A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame & place it on the mantel at the party."

"what's your pitch? ""so this guy steals from the rich..."" ok ""and gives to the poor"" nice. what's his name? ""Robin..."" haha I love it ""Hood"" wait"

"""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Grandpa"" ""Wait, STOP THE FUNERAL!"""

"What did the pirate say with the steering wheel in his pants? Arrgh, it's driving me nuts!"

"You may like your coffee free, but I like mine like I like my women Hot, brown and sweet......and without a penis..."