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Joke of the Day

"Why is the letter T like an island? Because its in the middle of water!!!"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. Some can go through 110 stories in 5 seconds"

"How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet? ""Sir, this is a liquor store."""

"Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me."

"I told my boss I needed a raise to stay at work because there are three different companies showing interest in me... He asked me which companies and I told him, ""The gas, electric, and cable ones"""

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to."

"What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster? Shellfish."

"""I'm on the Reich track baby, I was born this race."" -Nazi Gaga"

"I had a delicacy last night, young Wookie steak... ...it was a little Chewie."

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."