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Joke of the Day

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to."

"I sleep better naked and it's more comfortable WHY CAN'T THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT UNDERSTAND THIS?"

"People who say ""Money doesn't grow on trees"" don't understand the paper making process."

"I hate pedophiles. Those guys are fucking immature assholes."

"Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says ""Hey, did you hear about the Mad Cow Disease? It's spreading pretty fast."" The other cow says ""Yeah. Good thing I'm a helicopter."""

"Three guys walk into a bar... ...the bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"The Bible is subtitled ""Shit My God Says""."

"How did Jesus stay in such good shape? Cross fit."

"Every year I end up have so much Thanksgiving leftovers.. Not this year though. I'm quitting cold turkey"

"How do you kill a vegan vampire? Steak to the heart."