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Joke of the Day
"How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet? ""Sir, this is a liquor store."""
Next Joke
"[first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy."
"What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on? Calculust"
"When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial."
"How to turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel"
"Your mom is like a pile of bricks. Constantly getting laid by Mexicans."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flys like a banana."
"Would you rather have a threesome or dinner with your parents? Personally, I choose dinner with parents. I mean if I'm gonna disappoint two people at once, I at least want it to be two people I know."
"What the difference between Reddit and other sites? On some of them you actually have a voat"
"Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester... I just had too much on my plate."