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Joke of the Day

"*hits on a guy* He's bleeding. I think I'm doing this wrong."

"Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, ""Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!"""

"the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually ""cloaking"" they just turned all their lights off"

"What is Mike Tyson's favorite song? Down With The Thickness."

"What do you call a Mexican burglar? Juanted"

"I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, ""Where are your pants?"""

"Did you hear about the shooting at the school for blind, deaf mutes? It was truly a senseless tragedy."

"One time a friend said that he ""ain't never had no nothing"". It remains the only time where I have heard someone use a quadruple negative."

"Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down."

"Economists say the recession ended last year. Good to know. I'll bring that up at the dinner table tonight over our single bean."