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Joke of the Day

"Economists say the recession ended last year. Good to know. I'll bring that up at the dinner table tonight over our single bean."

"I like my violence like I like my beer.. Domestic."

"Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works much better on stains than regular pens"

"What's a jew doing on a swing? Fucking with the german snipers"

"Yo mama so fat... her carbon footprint turned to diamond."

"I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised."

"Curve Men like women with curves Women like men with class I like classes with curves"

"Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it."

"Is it bad to hate a certain race? Because I despise the 100 meter"

"What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store."