213906

Joke of the Day

"Why Does Waldo Wear Stripes? Because he doesn't want to be SPOTTED!!!"

"What is the difference between you and school tomorrow? I'm not going to come into school tomorrow."

"My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother."

"Do you know why the self driving car crashed? It had a bad driver."

"How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss? The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself"

"Why do /r/Planetside moderators dislike the Death Star II? It's a trap."

"What did the teen say when she found out she was pregnant? ""My mom is gonna kill me!"" What did the fetus say when the teen found out she was pregnant? "" My mom is gonna kill me!"""

"I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?"

"I hate circles. They're pointless."

"To the guy with the friend who dates Asians.... Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?"