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Joke of the Day

"I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving... luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer."

"Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away."

"A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them."

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"Fogged up my monocle while eating a soft-boiled egg. Had quite a chuckle. I imagine I won't forget it anytime soon."

"I hate meeting new people. It's like sitting through a fucking job interview to apply for the position of ""acquaintance."""

"Why does Piglet stink so bad? Cause he always plays with Pooh."

"What did the clock do when it was hungry? Went back 4 seconds"

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"i like trains thats the joke. HAHAHAHAH!!!!"