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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a politician with their head up their ass? David Cameron."
Next Joke
"Fact: A childless person coined the phrase ""Sleep like a baby."""
"What do you call a snowman that frequently has sexual intercourse? A snowplow."
"Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die."
"[hospital] ""I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again"" ""Oh God, he's paralysed?"" ""No, someone's bought him rollerblades"""
"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"
"My girlfriend peed her pants and asked me if she was still beautiful. I told her, ""urinate out of ten."""
"What's 50 Cent's name in Zimbabwe? 400 Million Dollars."
"A couple split up over Christmas cause the man wanted a Playstation... Instead he got an ex-box"
"I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation. Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look."