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Joke of the Day

"I never want to have a threesome, If I wanted to dissappoint two people at once I'd have dinner with my parents."

"Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: ""Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"""

"What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first? A Wookie mistake!"

"Why is salsa dancing so popular? Guacamole dancing is an extra $1.80."

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""

"Sometimes I need what only some people can provide: Their absence."

"People always demand to know who farted as if they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's responsible."

"I woke up with just my arm in hospital Hospital is a weird name for a dog"

"Call me crazy but ""dropping the ball"" does not sound like a good way to start off a new year."

"The only 'B' word you should ever call a woman is Beautiful..... Bitches love being called beautiful!"