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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I get the urge to run around naked, I stop and drink a bit of Windex It prevents streaking."

"Take time to relax especially when you don't have time for it."

"[highspeed chase] ANCIENT GREEK COP: Damn they're getting away *turns on Siren* [several nearby ships are lured to their doom]"

"I think I'm allergic to mornings."

"What's great about Trumps' little hands? Objects may appear larger when being held."

"Why do birds live in nests? Because they can't afford houses in this economy."

"Finally looked up from my phone screen and noticed I'm being passed around by the crowd at a Blink 182 concert."

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees (boobies)"

"What is the similarity between a psychologist and a prostitute? They both take your money for stuff a good friend would do for free, however they are better at it."

"This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by: **Nike** *""Just Do It""*"