213780

Joke of the Day

"America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me, and I thought ""Well that was a little condescending."""

"What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box? Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me."

"How many Potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"I dated a guy so arrogant he walked into a post while looking at his reflection in a store window. I left him. Unconscious on the street."

"[bedroom] Her: omg don't stop Me: what was that? Her: *sighs* Simon says don't stop"

"You've gotta hand it to blind hookers."

"My Pops told me that you can't go around trying to save everyone. They have to save themselves. He was a terrible lifeguard."

"Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages? There were many knights."

"I'm living in a rough neighbourhood... Some thug tore the front and back pages of my dictionary out! It just goes from Bad to Worse"