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Joke of the Day
"[bedroom] Her: omg don't stop Me: what was that? Her: *sighs* Simon says don't stop"
Next Joke
"I recently met up with an old girlfriend of mine and we immediately started having sex... ...The police got annoyed, however - they only wanted me to identify the body."
"Do You Know Why The Scarecrow Won The Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field!!"
"If I've learnt anything from Zombie movies it's that people meat is pretty damn stringy."
"If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone."
"What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog? You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook"
"This hotel has the worst mini-bar. All the little bottles of booze taste like shampoo."
"What do you call having anal sex with a dick piercing? NSFW Prince Albert in a can"
"What do you call Russian trees? Dimitrees"
"If ignorance is bliss then explain Facebook."