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Joke of the Day

"If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom' Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?"

"What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam."

"[puts a tub of Blue Bell in the cart] Ma'am, did you hear there was a recall? That could be deadly. [slowly puts second tub in cart]"

"What vegetable likes to party? A turn-up"

"The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff."

"*orders a medium pizza* *opens box* PIZZA: I've contacted your late grandmother. She wants you to know- *eats pizza*"

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."

"Two strings walk into a bar The first one says, ""I'll have a rum and cokeazx36@#&-334"". The second one says, ""Excuse my friend, he's not null terminated""."

"What do you call somebody with no body and just a nose? Nobody knows!"

"I have $5,000,000 in one pocket and $2,000,000 in the other. What do I have? Someone else's pants."