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Joke of the Day

"I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it"

"A three legged dog walks into a bar... He pulls out a gun and says, "" I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"" "

"I peed in my friend's beer before giving it to him... I told him, ""urine for a surprise"""

"Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!"""

"When you go to the dentist, Reddit... Don't cheetohn your diet!"

"Everybody thinks I am a psychopath... but I don't care what they think."

"This joke will SHOCK you. how do you catch a mouse? Click baiting."

"I got a job at an orange juice factory I couldn't concentrate so I was canned"

"My dad and I never got along We have been butting heads since the womb"

"I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other."