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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a doctor who is always available? An oncallogist."

"Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot."

"A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin."

"Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations? They don't believe in higher powers."

"I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What."

"if u told me 20yrs ago that we'd have a black prez w/ the middle name Hussein, I'd have kept playing w/ my ninja turtles cuz I was 9 in 1993"

"From now on everyone should start saying ""No"" when asked to be put on hold."

"Does your girlfriend have 67 protons? I've heard she's a ho."

"-This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle."

"Did you hear about the tumblr user who wrote a play about foxes? They called it Fennec-Kin's Wake"