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Joke of the Day

"I can't call people Grammar Nazis on social media anymore.... Now I call them the Alt-Write."

"Why did the condom suddenly go flying across the room? Because he was pissed off."

"My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10 Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!!! That's the best I've done so far."

"I would make a terrible Buddhist because I kill a lot of ants and drifters"

"""Someone offered me grapes, but I declined . I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form."" University of Chicago"

"What's the British equivalent to hit it and quit it. Bang her and dash."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I always use this joke when going to Dr's, or any medical situation. It never fails to get a great laugh."

"6yo: I can't wait to be an adult! Me: Adults don't get snow days. 6yo *faints*"

"A Polish guy goes for eye test. Doctor points towards the last line on Eye Test Chart, S I S Z T R Z T O W S K I Doctor, ""Can you read that?"" Polish guy, "" Read that? I fucking know that guy!!!"""

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Bruce Wayne's parents"