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Joke of the Day
"I await the announcement that Trump's running mate will be Charlie Sheen."
Next Joke
"Two lawyers walk into a bar. The third one ducks."
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face."
"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"
"My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Donuts Consumed column."
"How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed? Two and a half minutes."
"I can tell y'all this; it was no black man that came up with the name 'tea-bagging' for that shit. It'd have been something like 'ball-dunk'"
"Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they're and there."
"My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'("
"What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!"